Shit Happens...and there is nothing you can do about it.
With only 2 months of my 20's left I can't help but sum up the decade more negatively than positively. Sadly this is true. Despite good years (mostly in the first half of the decade) and new and valuable experiences, overall the past 10 years of my life have been plagued with one stint of disappointment and shitty luck after another. My 20's have been defined by 2 or 3 bad events for every good one. Take the following year for example. This year I moved into a better financial situation, as well as a great living one. However I was dumped by 3 men (one of which I was genuinely crazy about) and I buried my grandfather. For the past 10 years I've said to myself, "next year has to be better". It never has been, at least not by any real measure. So people always say that your 20's are to make the mistakes and your 30's are to use the lessons learned. Yet I'm still not entirely clear on those lessons learned. In truth at this point all I'm certain of is that my 20's were pretty shitty. When then does the transition happen? When does it shift and become easier? The day I turn 30? A few weeks after? Will I feel it shift? Or will I just assume that the shift is occurring until I find myself at this juncture next year saying, "Next year has to be better."? I have absolutely no idea, but I do know shit is going to happen and many times I won't be able to stop it. Therefore teaching me I need to invest in a shit poncho. Thank you 20's. After 10 years that's what I've gathered from you; that I need a fucking poncho.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Piece of Shit #23
30 is the New...30?
Ok. Ok. I'll say it. Not because I am, well I sort of am, but because it's expected. Ugh. I'm sorry I haven't written in a long time. There it's done. Let's get back to business...
In February I turned 29 and began descending upon the last year of my 20's. I'm now 8 months away from the end of the decade that was expected to be the most definitive of my life. Even as I type that I don't know what it means. "The most definitive decade of my life...". I want in many ways to agree with that. Looking back on the past 10 years I think I've morphed through many different personalities and people, all the while maintaining my awesome humor and spunk. However, as 30 draws near I'm not sure what will actually define the decade of my 20s, other than loads of questions were posed, many were answered, and many are still waiting to be answered. It's said in pop culture, or maybe just in crap girly magazines, that 30 is the new 20. I sincerely hope that is not true. I'm turning 30 and I want to understand that I've earned it. I hunted, scoured, searched, and trekked high and low, coast to coast (literally) to earn myself the 30 years that I'm closing in on. I have absolutely no desire to be 20 again. Because in reality my life is in many ways not that different on the surface. I'm still single and looking for certainties. The exception is that there are far less certainties that elude me. I know that having money makes things easier, but it isn't everything. I know that I can't control everything and there is no use in trying. I know that waking up alone can be a really wonderful thing. I know that sometimes things just are and sometimes they just aren't. I know my skin. I know my heart. I know my mind. And I will gladly keep learning as they continue to surprise and educate me. After all, the most valuable lesson my 20's have taught me is that "What is past is prologue" and prologue only. But oh, what a hell of a prologue it has been. And that, my Friends, is some goooooooood shit.
Ok. Ok. I'll say it. Not because I am, well I sort of am, but because it's expected. Ugh. I'm sorry I haven't written in a long time. There it's done. Let's get back to business...
In February I turned 29 and began descending upon the last year of my 20's. I'm now 8 months away from the end of the decade that was expected to be the most definitive of my life. Even as I type that I don't know what it means. "The most definitive decade of my life...". I want in many ways to agree with that. Looking back on the past 10 years I think I've morphed through many different personalities and people, all the while maintaining my awesome humor and spunk. However, as 30 draws near I'm not sure what will actually define the decade of my 20s, other than loads of questions were posed, many were answered, and many are still waiting to be answered. It's said in pop culture, or maybe just in crap girly magazines, that 30 is the new 20. I sincerely hope that is not true. I'm turning 30 and I want to understand that I've earned it. I hunted, scoured, searched, and trekked high and low, coast to coast (literally) to earn myself the 30 years that I'm closing in on. I have absolutely no desire to be 20 again. Because in reality my life is in many ways not that different on the surface. I'm still single and looking for certainties. The exception is that there are far less certainties that elude me. I know that having money makes things easier, but it isn't everything. I know that I can't control everything and there is no use in trying. I know that waking up alone can be a really wonderful thing. I know that sometimes things just are and sometimes they just aren't. I know my skin. I know my heart. I know my mind. And I will gladly keep learning as they continue to surprise and educate me. After all, the most valuable lesson my 20's have taught me is that "What is past is prologue" and prologue only. But oh, what a hell of a prologue it has been. And that, my Friends, is some goooooooood shit.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)